Thank you to Rima for writing this article for us…….
“It’s been over 2 months. I stopped counting the days once I got to week two and couldn’t figure out if it was Tuesday or Wednesday. My daughters harks to “When coronovirus is finished” so often, that now, its like a new month, era, a vision of when everything will be ok again and “normal”.
But after this “pause” of sorts, do we WANT to goback to “normal?”. Are our new personas able to fit into the circumstances of “before?” I’m not talking about fitting into wedding dresses here! I’m sure so many of us have learned lessons, about ourselves and others and life in general, that “normal” no longer exists. For many, working from home has opened the door for flexible work hours, helped them to develop self-discipline and many other advantages. As a mother, wife, teacher, I have seen many of these, though sometimes we have to look carefully for them.
Although there are some terrifying aspects to the coronavirus crisis, we have to accept, hasnt it been wonderful to see the whole world stay inside, keep themselves and others safe and find themselves? To witness the world healing, animals reclaiming land? To pause a little our frenetic lifestyles, to stop and smell the flowers, to make that banana bread. To stop, to breathe, to read the hungry caterpillar for the 1 millionth time without rushing your kids into the bath? It hasn’t been easy to juggle all these things under one roof, but it has been beautiful to learn to see each other as all the different parts of ourselves. To know that we CAN.
My children have seen me “teach” over zoom calls. I’ve heard my husband with his posh voice making work calls, I’ve seen my daughters become best friends.
There is always something positive. Having to postpone a celebration is so hard. But we develop resilience, patience and love never stops. It grows and grows. So when the day comes, think not about how and when it should have been, but how it is. Love so much bigger, better and bolder than ever before. How hugs are longer, how flowers smell sweeter than ever before.
My mum is always right, (as most mums are) and she always says, the best is yet to come…….
“When you have a ‘solution thinking mindset’ and choose to focus 80% of your thoughts / words on solutions – you will not only be heading more speedily to long-term success, but you will immediately feel better in the moment.” Karen Salmansohn
For those of you who don’t know who Karen is, she is the best-selling author of Be Happy Dammit, among many other books. I thought her quote was appropriate for the theme of this short blog: solutions and mindset.
By now everyone has a story to tell about the state of the world and their own experience within it. Within our own diversity as human beings everyone has approached it in different ways; some people have chosen to dwell in misery and continue to hold on tight to the drama that is splashed all over the media, others have accepted the facts and started looking towards the future and finding options and solutions.
I personally have chosen to surround myself with positive things, people and situations. I’m not ignoring the situation and hiding under a blanket. I am simply looking for the silver lining in the positives in my life instead of dwelling on the negatives, or on what’s broken. In reality we’re all facing similar things, but it is our mindset that makes all the difference.
Let’s make this article more specific to the thousands of brides who had to cancel their weddings. Or did they? I’ve been following brides from around the world, who find themselves in the same situation, and was pleasantly surprised to see how some of them handled the situation and came up with different solutions for their story.
Of course these ideas will not work for everyone, based on several circumstances, but it is just to give you a glimpse of possibilities; where couples chose not to dwell on what IS, but chose to get excited about what WILL BE.
For some couples keeping the original date of their wedding was important, and they didn’t mind giving up the reception part. I’ve seen couples who held a wedding celebration with just themselves (bride and groom) and the celebrant in their own backyard that was beautifully decorated. They had a beautiful cake, toast and flowers. They chose to hold a reception and renew their vows on their 1st wedding anniversary.
I’ve seen couples getting married in the church, only themselves and the parents were present (and distanced appropriately as per the rules in place at the moment). They chose to say their vows now and hold the celebration next year.
I’ve seen couples getting married in the Registrar’s office, or City Hall, depending on what country you live in. Only the couple and witnesses were present, at appropriate distances of course. They chose not to do the church wedding and hold a celebration next year for their anniversary.
I’ve seen couples get their family and friends together to get enough chairs to hold a wedding / small reception on a farm, out in the open, where everyone could sit a bit further away from each other. They chose to have only family present in order to be able to hold the wedding. Everyone chipped in with flowers, chairs, decorations…definitely a tale for their story book.
I’ve seen many couples who just accepted the current situation as a fact and made a decision to postpone their wedding until next year because for them it’s still important to have the wedding as originally planned with all their loved ones present. But what I have seen is a lot of them getting excited about the chance to ‘revise’. Many of them now have a chance to review and change any part they were not completely happy with, like the venue. Others have decided to make their wedding next year ‘bigger and better’ to make up for the delay.
Some couples chose to do a celebration of the original date of their wedding, whether it’s just a toast in the garden, or a movie and pizza night and do a video to send to their family and guests with the invite for the new date next year. Some couples have done some really cool photo / video montage of their story to send out as the new ‘wedding invitation’ for next year.
Not all these ideas work for everybody as everybody’s situation is different and so is the mindset. This is just something small to give all our brides a burst of positivity and some excitement about what WILL BE. Fall in love with your wedding plans again, it is not so much about WHEN you will get married, but more about WHAT do you want that day to represent? You have a chance to review what is really important for you, who do you really want to share it with, what can you do to make it extra special?
We will be bringing you some trends from around the world soon to help you feel that excitement once again…