Postponing your wedding? You may want to read this…. by TaraD

From Heartbroken to excited…..

Since we shot our last wedding on the 14th March 2020, I, (like many others) have been dealing with a rollercoaster of emotions.

I have learnt so much from the last month and feel that I have really grown as a human being (and not just physically with all the extra food I’m snacking on!).

We have been chatting to lots of brides and one mentioned that I had changed her perspective from “heartbroken” to “excited again”.

Just think about that for a moment, from “heartbroken” to “excited” completely opposite emotions.

I then went onto have a business call with a group of business owners and I mentioned in conversation, how I had switched someone’s perspective and it made everyone stop. It was almost a mic drop moment. They felt that my words had potentially changed that woman’s life in a great way and I hadn’t thought of it. They asked how the rest of her day would have continued with her fiancee? Her family? Her friends? To go from upset and heartbreak to being excited again just by reading a heartfelt message that I had sent to her. How would her next phone call go? Instead of tears it would be “but we can do that now instead, we have more time to save for this etc….!”

For me its all about perspective, it is about seeing things from a different point of view. Life has always been that way for me. I studied “To kill a mockingbird” in school and recently again during this lockdown with my 8 year old. I explained to him a quote that has stuck with me ever since. “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view.. until you climb into his skin and walk around in it”.

I think by nature we often become so focused on our own problems that we don’t see others. Not because we are selfish, or careless but because it doesn’t necessarily affect us.

I have noticed online in various wedding groups and heard lots and lots of couples using words like “devastated”…. “heartbroken” …..“torn”.  I began to feel that I was missing something, or maybe they were (un-intentionally of course!). Those words are associated with grief and death, which I could relate to the virus. But I wouldn’t associate them with rescheduling a wedding.

Why? Well, we aren’t talking about cancelling a wedding which is associated with loss and grief when a relationship dissolves. We are talking about postponing. Simply moving the celebration to a later date. This is a chance to breathe. We are always so busy with life and planning a wedding is even more hectic than the everyday stress. Now you have an opportunity to literally just breathe! Have fun together, go for walks (within 2k!), learn more about each other than you ever knew before.

This unprecedented time is like an intense pre marriage course! You are with your spouse 24/7. This time will help you to adjust, to give each other space, even if you can’t physically! You will learn to share jobs at home that you never had to do before. You will learn how to come up with solutions to keep each other sane! 🙂

If you are already parents, you will have a whole other range of challenges and learning opportunities thrown into the mix! 🙂 All the parents reading this are currently saying “HELL YEAH!” 🙂

This time together is incredible. This pause is giving you the opportunity to focus on what you REALLY WANT, without all of the daily distractions and pressures that are normally happening while trying to plan a wedding. You can give it your complete attention now, or very little if you choose to take a break from the planning! Both are perfectly ok, you choose what works for you!

For me  instead of focusing on the fact that I don’t know when we will get to shoot a wedding again. (Just to clarify this is our livelihood. Like many other suppliers, to potentially loose all our weddings this year is not something we can brush off lightly). I am looking at all the opportunities this last month has given me and I am incredibly grateful for that.

Instead of feeling sad every time I get an email with someone changing their wedding date, I am feeling happy that they are now stress free. They can now look forward to their wedding instead of being scared on the lead up to it.

Every morning I start with a coffee and my notebook and list 10 things that I am grateful for. This may sound completely crazy, (or pointless) I know, I thought so too when I was first asked to try it! But what have you got to loose? Try it and see how it makes you feel, how it switches your PERSPECTIVE on things.

How you start to realise how incredibly lucky you really are! You have your health and you are safe. In the world we are living in right now that is worth celebrating.

So lets switch our perspective and see how it makes you feel.

Instead of stressing over how I am going to make ends meet, I am grateful for the amazing amount of focused quality time with my children. I am learning about them, watching them grow, teaching them daily life skills as well as the home schooling! I have got to know them both better which seems crazy, but we now have much more time to sit and talk. It isn’t rushed or interrupted by me looking at the screen editing/emailing/designing while agreeing and nodding to them. (I know, great parenting! As I said at the beginning I have learnt a lot!).

I have also learnt how much I genuinely love my career and I can’t wait to return to telling people’s stories. I really miss it!

I miss creating, but now I am capturing my own story and my children’s story, for their futures.

Today I am grateful for the gorgeous sunrise and another opportunity to work in my garden. I am grateful for my family and friends health, my morning coffee, my husband, as we are continuing to work great as a team keeping everyone upbeat. The roof over our heads, the chats I will have with friends, the books I now have time to read, the memories I am getting the opportunity to create.

I am grateful for you, if you took the time to read the longest post I have ever written! I hope it helps!

With love,

Tara x

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Making the most of this extra time…. by TaraD

How are you all doing? It is such a strange time right now as we aren’t meeting in person and chatting all things wedding or otherwise. Are any of you missing the interaction?

Are you using zoom and various apps to keep you sane?

Do any of you have a routine that you are sticking to? Or trying to stick to?

We are for the simple fact of helping to know what day of the week we are on and also giving us things to look forward to.

For example movie nights on a Sunday with the kids is a big one. Monday to Friday is school work and Saturday is a play day.

Monday is always an office afternoon for me, so I am trying to look at what I can improve. I think it is a really good time to re evaluate business and what works incredibly well and what can be better!

I have already established some ways I can serve our clients more efficiently so I will be implementing those changes immediately.

I am also using the time to brainstorm new ideas, to bring something fresh into our company. To learn new skills in this extra time. To study and of course take advantage of this extra family time we have been given!

Too often I have spoken to parents who say “they grow up too fast” “it went so quickly” and so on and they are completely right.

I went back to work straight away when I was building the business when Cailean was born and I remember the guilt I felt shooting a wedding on his first birthday.

I was more confident second time around and took time off with Daithi and we all enjoyed a work free Christmas together for his first Christmas and it was such a gift. We realised we had been pouring every second into our company.

So I am using this time to look inwards. What can I change? What can I do better? What will help others more?

I would love to hear what’s helping you guys through…. x

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I am challenge…. by TaraD

Yesterday I began a 90 day “I am” challenge with one of my coaches Christa Molter. The idea is to take a daily photograph of me saying an “I am” statement to myself in the mirror and to post that image on my insta stories to hold me accountable.

For Day one I chose the affirmation of “I am able” and today I have two ideas and they are “I am motivated and I am focused”.

If I forget to do a day I start back at day one. The purpose of this is to develop our self image with daily positivity and see the power of repetition and affirmations. If you constantly tell yourself that you can’t do something, chances are you will convince your subconscious mind that is true and therefore find it incredibly difficult to do the said task. Whereas the opposite is also true. It takes 30 days to form a habit so by the end of 90 days I should see and feel a massive difference!

If any of you would like to join me, I would love that so feel free to message!

With that in mind it has inspired a photography project and we would love you to join us with our  “I am…..” Photography challenge. The idea behind this is to document what is going on for all of us right now. To acknowledge our feelings, be they happy or frustrated! To simply share as a community showing support to one and other as we are all feeling similar emotions. Sometimes it helps to know that others are feeling the same too!

To join the challenge capture a photo on any device inspired by the “I am ….” statement. Some examples are as I mentioned above, I am able, or I am motivated, I am focused, I can do this. Or it could simply be I am tired! 🙂 It can be anything at all but it should inspire the photograph that you have captured. Then tag us in a picture taken with the hashtag #TDPiamchallenge so we can all inspire each other and keep each other motivated to do it. Again the reason for sharing this is that we support each other and also lets make it fun! Lets encourage children to come up with “I am” statements. It is also a great way to find out how they are feeling without directly asking them.

We will also share some tips and tricks throughout the challenge to help develop your photography skills and another bonus is the visual diary that you are creating of yourself, your family and your environment during this unprecedented time.

So I hope you will join us….. I am willing, I am able, I am going to do this! Will you? 🙂

 

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